Only The Strong Survive
by TinaLutz
Summary: People look at Rose and think her life is perfect. But they don't realize the turmoil she has had to live threw. Most kids worried about who was their BFF and who wasn't. But not Rose, she had problems most adults didnt want.
1. Introduction

As a child I use to sit and think how my life would be. Maybe a few kids, a solid marriage, but most of all I would think of how my relationship with my mother would be.

I thought I would have my brother as my protector, my sister as my best friend and supporter. It's so funny the picture we paint in our minds as a child, only to have it crumble before you are even out of grade school.

My name is Rosalie Lillian Hale McCarty. I am 25 years old. From the outside my life looks pretty normal. Two beautiful children, a loving and supporting husband, but you are about to see how my life is on the inside. The heartache I feel daily that is slowly healing with the love of my husband and children.

Are you ready? I hope you are. I guess the best place to start this would be from the beginning. Back to the naïve child that I once was. Back before I realized this world isn't the place I thought it would be when I grew up. Back before life as I knew it changed forever. Funny how life changes in a blink of an eye. One day you are a happy child playing with friends outside and the next you are watching your world crumble and not know what is going to happen.


	2. AN

Author Note.

I am not too sure how to do the disclaimer so I will do it as and authors note.

I do not own SM's characters but I do have the right to the characters I am adding to the mix.

This story is dear to my heart a lot of what you read is stuff I have actually been through, things I am still going through. If you have any question on the characters I do not mind answering. I will go ahead and say that the Chris in my story is based on my brother, Name and all and so is Bea/Beatrice that is my mother. There is gonna be twist and turns as the story goes and also time jumps I will have it labeled on the jumps with the year. I don't know how long the story will be or even how long the chapters will be. This is a release for me to write about this is helping me to overcome feelings I have inside. If you don't have anything nice to say don't review my story.

Peace, Love and Twilight to you all

TinaLutz


	3. fun with the family

1991

"Rose, hurry up! I am ready to go play" I hear Chris scream up the stairs. "I cant get my shoes on right! Bubby come help pwease" I beg. I hear his loud foot steps coming up the stairs, As he rounds the corner into my room I cant help the smile that comes over my face. My big brother, my protector. His dark spikey hair and dimples just shining.

"Rose, how many times do I have to tell you? when we go outside put on the Velcro shoes I don't want to have to stop and keep tying your shoes!' He scolds. "Sorry bubby, I just want to be wike you. You tie your shoes." I say looking down as he ties my shoes. "I know blondie, come on. I bet they are already waiting on us." he says running out my door and down the stairs, stopping to kiss our mom on the cheek.

I barrel down the steps as fast as my feet will go, I see momma waiting at the bottom of the stairs with my jacket and smile. My dad works A LOT so mom takes care of Chris and I, My sister Alice is older then us she is already married. Thinking about her makes me miss my sister and Jasper. "Momma, will you ask sissy to come see me? I miss her." Mom slides my jacket on my arms and finishes zipping it. "Already ahead of you Rose. She should be here" Mom is cut off by a knock on the door. "Allie! Jazz!" I scream running to the door and flinging it open and launching myself in my sisters waiting arms.

"Hey buttercup, How are you?" Allie ask as she kisses my head. "Good! Bubba fussed cus I wanted my tie shoes. He don't wanna have to stop riding his bike to help me tie them. Then I asked momma to call cause I missed you and here you are. How does she know what to do before anyone else sissy?" I ask gasping for breath after my spill. Allie bust into a fit of laughter." Cause she is momma Rose Momma knows it all." She sets me down on my feet and walks over to Momma. "Hi Mom, how are you?" Allie ask. "Good Alice, Where is Jasper?" Mom ask closing the door. "He is throwing football with Chris" Allie replies. "Allie! Will you play bubbles with me?" I ask. "Sure thing Rose. Come on." she said. I run pass daddy on my way out.

"Woah there Rose! Slow it down." Dad says playfully as Allie closes the door behind us. I hear the screaming starting as the door latches. "Allie, why do they always fight?" I ask. "grown ups don't always get along Rose. Its normal buttercup lets play." I giggle taking her hand and walking to the field by our place. We live in a nice two story apartment with lots of neighbors and lots have kids. Next thing I know its supper time, I hear my Dad calling me in. Allie, Chris and I all have the same Mom but different dads. I am my dads only child.

We finish up dinner, Allie and Jasper leaves and momma puts me in the tub and Chris helps me. I can hear the fighting down stairs. "No Beatrice, I am not gonna leave my job just because you don't like that there are other women I work with!" Dad yells. "Well I suggest you get the fuck out Carlilse!" Mom shouts. By this time I am in my room with my pjs on, Chris didn't bother washing my hair. I think he wanted to get me to bed so I didn't hear the fighting. But I always here it laying in my bed at night. They fight every night, I cant remember I time I didn't hear fighting.

As I am watching the one show I am allowed to before bed with Chris I hear Dad Yell "You know what Bea, I have had it. I can help raise Rose without having to come home and listen to this all the time. I will be back for my stuff tomorrow!" The door slams and at the same time I hear a glass break. I jump from my bed and look out the window tears streaming down my face I try to yell for him not to go bu tno sounds come out just sobs. I watch as my dad walks away from our home, the family they created together and he don't turn around once. I feel a pair of arms scoop me up and through the tears I see my savior, my brother Chris.

I cried myself to sleep that night. I cried for my mom, for my dad, but most of all I cried because I had a bad feeling things were fixing to happen and I didn't know what to expect. As I doze off my last image is my brother carefully putting me in the bed bending down to kiss my forehead and he said "I will always protect you my lil rosebud. I love you." I mumble out " I love you turtle." And drift into a deep sleep.


	4. We are doing what?

As I woke up the next day all I could think of is watching my Dad walk away. Would he be back? Every time I had seen them fight they always made up. What was so different this time? I got out of bed and made my way down stairs pausing as I heard My mom and brother talking.

"Mom, He has to talk to the women at work. Its part of his Job, He IS the boss." I heard Alice say in a hushed tone. "So does that mean I am just suppose to be ok with it?" Mom shouted. "I cant talk to you when all you want to do is shout Mom. Please stop, before Rose hears you." Alice said softly. "Too late." I called from the steps. "I'm hungry Allie. Can I have cereal?" I ask. "Sure thing Rosebud." Allie said lifting me up to pick out what kind I wanted. I settled on fruit loops. As Allie sat me down I noticed boxes.

"What's those?" I asked pointing to the boxes. "Its your Dad's things," Mom replied, "I packed it last night. Now all he has to do is get it and go." I looked up as tears welled up in my blue eyes. "he isn't coming back?" I squalled. Allie ran over and scooped me up. "Rosebud, Mom and your Dad are not going to live together anymore. He is gonna get his own place where you will have a whole other bedroom there at his house with toys and all kinds of good stuff." Allie said while wiping my tears away.

Just then Chris walked in with my Dad following, Chris must have been riding his bike again. He loves his bike. "DADDY!" I yelled springing from Allies arms, "When can I see my new room?" I asked excitement clear from my voice. He kissed my head and laughed. "I have to get it set up first Rosebud." "Oh, ok. Can I have a big bed?" I asked. Dad laughed again, "sure thing kiddo, You just have to let me get it all set up first, ok?" "Ok Daddy!" I ran off to finish eating.

I sat at the table and watched him carry out his things, Mom never saying a word. She eventually went upstairs to get away from it all. After Dad left I overheard Momma talking on the phone. "Yes Mom I am sure….No I havent told the kids….Rose will be fine. She will still see Him….We havent worked out visitation yet…I think your right I need to be closer to you. Start looking for a place for us. I need to let Carlisle and the kids know what I have decided. I love you mom. Talk to you soon."

We are moving to Carthage,Tn I like Cookeville though. My friends are hear, My dad is hear. I don't say anything as mom tells Chris and I we are moving all I keep thinking is when I am gonna see my dad again. "ROSE!" Mom shouted. "Sorry Momma, what did you say?" I asked. "Your dad will be seeing you every other weekend." she said. I nodded and said, "When do I get to go?" "After he is settled in his place and we are settled in ours." Mom answered. "Ok, Can I go play now?" I ask. "Sure thing sweetie." Mom said.

I can only wonder how things are going to be now that we are moving. This place is all I know. I know we have lived other places but I was too young to remember that. Time started flying by before I knew it we were settled in our new place. I had started going back and forth every other weekend from Carthage to Cookeville. I have already made friends in both places. Before I knew it weeks, months even years are going by me.


	5. time flies when your having fun

**NO I DON'T OWN SM'S CHARACTERS! BUT I SURE LIKE PLAYING WITH THEM *GIGGLES* ENJOY THE CHAPTER ~*~MUCH LOVE~*~**

It is amazing how quickly time flies, I am now 9 years old. Since My mom and dad split I have been back and forth every weekend. Things have been going well, my mom's is close to Allie and Jazz so I get to see them more and I have amazing friends at mom's and dad's. Dad don't like that there are boys around where he is, I don't even want to play with them anyway! All they do is ride bikes and climb trees.

Today I am at dad's house and its so boring. My friends are not home so I am outside alone. I decide to hop on my bike and ride for a while. As I go around the corner I see HIM ughhh he makes my blood boil, always so nice when his friends are not there but the minute Edweird and James show up he starts picking on me AGAIN! Maybe I can sneak away before….

"Hey Rosie." well, I tried. "Hey Em, I thought I told you NOT to call me that anymore?" I replied with attitude. "awwwww come on Rosie, you know you like it." He said winking at me and showing me his best smile. I just want to poke him with a stick in those dimples! "Oh Em, if I liked it I wouldn't have the urge to slap you when you say it." I replied. I turned to walk away tossing my blonde hair over my shoulder I hopped on my bike and rode away, as I rode away I heard him say, "One day Rosie, we will be together just you wait." he said laughing. I yelled in return, "Thanks Em now I'm gonna be sick."

"Rose!" I heard my dad call, must be time to go home I thought. "Coming Dad." I hollered. As I rounded the corner I saw him standing there on the porch and smiled. I am such a daddy's girl. "Time to go sweetie put your bike up." Dad told me. I sighed, "ok daddy, you know I hate that I cant spend more of my break with you." I told him. " I know Rose but I have to work." He said walking back in. I went in and got my bags and we were off again to make the 30 minute drive back to moms.

As we pulled up mom walked out, dad looked at me and said, "Rose is your mom ok? She don't look well." I looked over, "yea dad as far as I know she is fine." I replied. "Ok rosebud, I gotta get back home. I love you sweetie." "Ok Daddy, I love you. See you next week." He grabbed my bags and took them in while I ran right to my moms waiting arms. " Hi Momma, I missed you!" I said while hugging her. "I missed you too Rosebud, Go start your bath love let me talk to your dad." she told me. "Yes mam, Bye dad love you!"

I heard dad leave hollering goodbye on his way out the door but he didn't sound right, He sounded like he was…. Crying almost. I got out and ready for bed and curled up next to mom on the couch. "Was Dad ok Momma?" I asked looking up at her. "Yea hunny, I just had to tell him something important. Now off to bed with you. Chris will be back tomorrow afternoon." she replied hugging me and kissing my head. "Ok Momma, Love you. Sleep tight." I said going to bed. It was only a matter a minutes till I feel into a deep sleep. I cant wait to have Chris home tomorrow I always miss him when I am gone.

**I hope you are still with me. Hoping to have another chapter up tomorrow. Just a warning in advance the next few chapters are gonna be tear jearkers. Have your tissues handy. Reviews make my heart smile! ~*~ TinaLutz~*~**


	6. what now

**ONCE AGAIN NOT MY CHARACTERS, BUT BOY ARE THEY FUN TO PLAY WITH ;) I had a question from a reader and thought I had posted this before but now that I look I didn't. there is time jumps in the story as of now ages are as follows Beatrice is 40 Carlilse is 30 (Bea's a cougar ;) LOL) Chris is 15 Allie 25 Jazz is 30 Rose is 9. Sorry for the confusion I will try to keep that in my disclaimer as well **

**I woke up to the smell of sausage and jumped out of the bed. Without so much as a good morning I sat down and started shoveling food in my mouth. "Well, good morning to you too rosebud." Mom said laughing. "Morning." I replied mouth stuffed full. "Your brother is on his way back." Mom told me. I didn't take time to reply just kept eating making mom bust out in a fit of laughter. "You eat so much for someone so small rosebud." she said. "Hey I am a growing girl." I said laughing.**

**I heard a car door close outside. "I bet that's turtle mom!" I shouted. "Yes it is but you need to finish eating young lady." she scolded playfully. "Yes Momma" I told her. I heard the door close as someone walked in or out. "Rosebud?" I heard Chris call. "In the kitchen turtle." I said. "There's my favorite girl!" He said scooping me up in a hug. "I missed you bubba." I said hugging him tighter. "Well we will have to fix that huh? How about we fix our favorite snack once mom heads out?" He asked. "YES" I screamed. **

**Mom got ready and headed out to work telling us the rules and giving us emergency numbers saying something about Allie and Jazz. All I was thinking about was my snack. Every since I was five Chris and I had this secret between us, when mom would leave we would take and make sugar toast as we called it. It was nothing more then bread and sugar in a sandwich. But it was the fact of sharing something with my older brother. He is the best friend a gal can have. **

**We spent the day in front of the tv watching every cartoon imaginable. By far the best day EVER. I don't remember it but I fell asleep right there laying in my brothers lap. He must have carried me to bed at some point because that is where I woke up the next morning. **

**I heard movement outside my door signaling someone was up, so I got up and went to the kitchen. Just pop tarts this morning. Chris come walking in and gave me a hug and kissed my forehead and turned to mom, "Can I go to Caleb's house mom?" He asked. "Sure Chris, but please be careful you know I hate you riding your bike all that way." She said. "Mom I am old enough to do it I always look both ways before crossing the road." he said. "Ok call me when you get there." Mom told him. "Sure thing. Love you mom, Love you too Rosebud." he said. "bye bubba love you" I yelled.**

**I hated when he went to Caleb's house. Its not safe. He has to cross a busy road and go down this big hill. I don't know why mom let him go all the time, yea it's a small town and not that far but still I know she didn't like it and neither do I. I went to start playing in my room after mom and I had cleaned up. I heard the knock but didn't pay attention to it. I heard a murmur of voices and got curious. I walked in the living room and there stood two cops talking to my mom and she was…crying? I climbed in her lap and rubbed her hair when I looked at the cops I started to cry " Please don't take my mommy she is the best mommy ever and she don't do anything bad!" I sobbed. Mom stopped me, "Shhhhhh baby, its ok I'm not going anywhere." "Then why are you crying?" I asked. "I will explain it to you rosebud but right now we need to go." she said. The cops took us to the hospital on the way mom explained.**

"**Rosebud, Chris is hurt baby. He was hit by a car, the lady was drunk and speeding." She couldn't say anymore cause the doctor walked in. I sat there tears streaming down my face, how can someone be so stupid. I want turtle, oh no where is Allie and Jazz I thought looking around in panic. I saw them talking to mom and the doctor. I heard something about life flight taking turtle to Nashville some childrens hospital. Ok so he is still alive I thought. Drying my eyes I walked over to Allie tugging on her hand she bent down to talk to me. "Rosebud, Jazz and I are gonna take you and Momma to Nashville with us ok?" She asked "will you tell me whats going on?" I asked. "Yes, when we get there. You and I will go talk." She said smiling. I shook my head yes and followed them to the car.**


	7. soup and tears

**Just a friendly reminder I don't own SM's Characters but wish I at least had Em ;) Chris and Bea are mine however. Same ages apply here as the last chapter. **TISSUE WARNING****

I fell asleep on the way to Nashville, when I finally came to I was being carried into Vanderbilt Children's Hospital by Jazz. I looked up at him and he smiled gently at me as he sat me on my feet. I could tell he had been crying his eyes were red and puffy. "I love you Jazz" I said wiping the sleep from my eyes. "Love you too Rosie." he replied. "Where is Momma and Allie?" I said noticing they were no where to be seen. "They are with Chris." He replied. I nodded wordlessly and followed him in.

We found the waiting room and sat down waiting to hear something, anything really. "Coe on Jazz, I wanna see Chris." I said tugging his hand. "No Rosie, they will come and get us in a little while." He said. "But Jazz we have been waiting forever!" I said stomping my foot. "ROSALIE!" I heard Allie shout. I turn and ran to her. "Allie is he ok whats going on?" I asked in a panic. "You have to calm down Rosebud there are lots of people trying to rest so they can get better and get out of the hospital." She said taking my hand and walking back to Jazz.

"How about we find the cafeteria and get something to eat?" She asked. "Sure! Will you tell me then what's going on? Pleaseeeee Allie!" I begged. "As soon as we get some food in you." She said. It seemed like we had walked the entire place before we found the cafeteria. Allie and Jazz gave me some money and let me pick what I wanted. I had never seen this type of vending machine. Usually they just had chips, crackers, candy and gum. This one had EVERYTHING! I mean from pizza to sandwiches. Even can lunches! I got some chicken noodle soup and Allie heated it up for me. After I finished I turned to Allie and Jazz. "Tell me." I said.

"Ok. But you have to stay quiet and let me finish before you say anything. Ok Rosebud?" Allie asked. I nodded and mumbled an ok. "Chris was riding his bike down the hill in front of Caleb's when a lady came flying up the hill in her truck," She paused trying to stop the crack in her voice but I heard it. "She was very drunk and didn't see Chris and hit him head on. The hit flung him 15 feet in the air and he came back down hitting the pavement, luckily he had on his helment so he doesn't have brain damage. But, He is paralyzed, from the neck down. That means he is gonna be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. He has lots of broke bones, one of his ribs punctured his lung when it broke so he has a machine breathing for him. You need to be ready rosebud he has lots of equipment on him right now," she said nodding when I looked like I was ready to talk.

"I want turtle." I said wiping my eyes full of tears. "Rosebud, I don't think you need to see him like this." She said stroking my hair. I smacked her hands away "I WANT TO SEE HIM NOW!" I screamed. "Ok rosebud, but you have to calm down and I have to talk to mom first. Lets head back" She said. My thoughts got to me the whole way back. He will never walk, have kids, ride his bike, skateboard ever again. How can someone be so stupid to drink and drive? She could have killed my brother! My eyes filled with angry tears at all this woman had taken from my brother. Allie left Jazz and I in the waiting room and came back out holding momma's hand. "Rosebud, I am gonna go call Chris's dad, Allie is gonna take you in, ok?" Mom asked. All I did was nod to her. "He don't look like himself, and he cant talk he is asleep, the doctors gave him medicine so he could rest ok?" I nodded again.

I feel numb walking down the hall to see my brother. I paused outside his door with Allie looking up at her she smiled and squeezed my hand as we walked in together. I closed my eyes, I don't know why but I closed them. I hear the beeping and Allie talking saying the beeps are coming from this and this is helping him breathe. I am listening but at the same time I am fighting with myself to open my eyes. When I finally did there laid my brother, my hero, my protector, fighting for his life. He had so many tubes coming from everywhere. I heard Allie saying what it all was explaining everything to me all I could do was nod. He had a tube in his neck, allie called it a tracheotomy she said it was helping him breathe. There was a black looking thing around his shoulders and head it looked like a halo almost. I had no words, no more thoughts entered my mind as I walked over to him I checked out everything while holding his hand. I noticed then that there were no tubes in my way nothing could stop me now, I picked up his arm and climbed in his bed, laying beside him I wrapped his arm around me and cried harder then I ever had. I heard Allie crying in the background. I kissed my brothers arm and whispered quietly Inbetween my sobs "I love you turtle." Then drifted to sleep.


End file.
